My story starts here.
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It got very lonely for me in Faith Tabernacle. The person’s statement that Edwin had said she shouldn’t fellowship me let me know a bit better why. I began searching online for different Apostolic churches, trying to find out where I would go and trying to find answers for what was happening. It wasn’t long before I found a discussion board for Apostolics and joined.
I was very careful not to let anyone know my situation or where I was, though I’m sure a few moderators could have figured it out. The board became my main fellowship over the next months. Oddly, I knew that not everyone on the board was Apostolic. Many were definitely not conservative. And so as things were said, I began making a list of who I could trust, based on who was most conservative, like I was.
Over time, I realized something shocking: it wasn’t those who were most conservative that I could trust. Those I enjoyed hearing from and who were kind, gentle, self controlled, and so forth on the board, were very rarely people I would talk to in person… most were very liberal or not Apostolic at all. The most conservative ones on the board, in contrast, tended to be harsh and even cruel to others. I began to think that perhaps instead of looking for a church that preached long sleeves and skirts and uncut hair for women, I should look for one that taught we should have the fruit of the spirit. Still, when the invitation was put on the board for a campmeeting out of state at a conservative gathering, I got excited and hoped to go.
We didn’t go to meetings without our pastor’s permission. And so I asked the Youngs if I could attend. It was a very conservative meeting, and I never dreamed they’d say no. I suppose they never really did… instead, they asked how I’d found out about it and rebuked me for being online, and on a discussion board. They told me if I ever wanted to come back to Faith Tabernacle, I’d better delete my membership immediately.
Deleting membership wasn’t possible on that board, and I didn’t want to delete my membership anyway. We didn’t have internet at home, so the next day at work I removed my name from another board and texted them that I’d deleted “the account”. Then I logged back onto the discussion board, more determined than ever to find a new church soon.
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